What is the perfect hamburger?

Smash burger? Big burger? Fully dressed? I’m a simple man with simple pleasures, nothing much is needed to make me happy much less content. A double cheeseburger with onion, pickles, ketchup, and mustard will suffice. The burgers have to be greasy with minimal preparation and that is a home run for me. If the burger comes wrapped in a single piece of wax paper? even better, serve it to me on that, no frills needed. Cant say this enough, too much is being done with many of these burgers and someone somewhere has to step in and say this is enough. Keep it simple stupid should be the handbook for anyone cooking a burger everywhere. While Ill eat the complicated burgers with toppings only dreamt of in high end kitchens, the simple greasy two patties cheeseburger reigns supreme in my book.